draft #117 of our grand vision
Politics aren’t real. The system is broken, the rules are made up, and the points don’t matter—unless they’re in your bank account. When they make you choose between a dumbo and an ass, it’s time to stop pretending you’re at the main event. It’s time for The After Party.
We are the party you’ve always been waiting for. The one that starts after the speeches end, after the promises dissolve, and after the last confetti cannon misfires in the town square. When you wake up in your political party and don’t recognize a thing, you don’t go back to sleep—you come to ours.
The first rule of The After Party is you tell everyone about The After Party. The second rule? Same thing. The third rule: leave your bullshit at the door. What happens at The After Party stays at The After Party—unless it makes for a really good meme.
We accept worthless crypto, unsolicited advice, and conspiracy theories that are at least interesting. We do the political hokey pokey, we turn ourselves around, and we recognize that left is right, right is left, and the compass broke years ago.
This is where the disillusioned, the disenchanted, and the disco-inclined gather to laugh at the machine, flip it the bird, and maybe dance on top of it. The After Party Party isn’t here to fix politics—we’re here to mock it until it collapses under the weight of its own absurdity.
stay tuned for our next draft.
For those who prefer bullet points.
OUR TEMPORARY TRUTH
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POLITICS AREN'T REAL
Birds aren’t real. Why should Congress be?
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WHEN THEY MAKE YOU CHOOSE BETWEEN A DUMBO AND AN ASS, IT'S TIME TO GO TO THE AFTER PARTY.
Red or blue? We choose glow-in-the-dark.
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THE PARTY YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN WAITING FOR.
You just didn’t know you were on the guest list.
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WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN YOUR PARTY AND DON'T RECOGNIZE A THING, IT'S TIME FOR THE AFTER PARTY.
Congratulations. You’re officially post-political.
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THE FIRST RULE OF THE AFTER PARTY IS YOU TELL EVERYONE ABOUT THE AFTER PARTY.
No secrets. Just sequins.
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THE SECOND RULE OF THE AFTER PARTY IS YOU TELL EVERYONE ABOUT THE AFTER PARTY.
Seriously. Start talking.
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THE THIRD RULE OF THE AFTER PARTY IS YOU LEAVE YOUR BULLSHIT AT THE DOOR.
And yes, that includes your "centrist" takes. Whatever that means now.
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WHAT HAPPENS AT THE AFTER PARTY STAYS AT THE AFTER PARTY.
Unless it makes a great meme.
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GIVE US YOUR WORTHLESS CRYPTO!
If you give it away, you can't lose it! We proudly accept emotional baggage and JPEG monkeys.
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DO THE POLITICAL HOKEY POKEY AND TURN YOURSELF AROUND.
That's what it's all about.
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LEFT IS RIGHT AND RIGHT IS LEFT.
Up is down. We're not lost - you are.
